Pages of a Broken Girl
by XX-Veggie-Vamp-XX
Summary: Bella lives with Charlie. Her boyfriend Mike has changed for the worst. A diary is her solace and the silence of the library is her best friend. But when her dear diary goes missing, will a boy's punishment put her on the path to redemption? !bad summary!
1. Accused and Abused

Pages of a Broken Girl.

A/N—ok I'm not sure about this story, ill upload the first chapter and see whet response I get....enjoy!!

Please review!!

Chapter 1- Accused and Abused.

BPOV

"Who is he Bella?" Mike growled into my ear. Here we go again, another accusation, another beating. The back buildings of Forks High were so empty, as he knew they'd be. Nobody comes out here. No help was coming. As usual. He twisted my arm up behind my back, my elbow joint straining as it was reaching its limit. A whimper escaped my mouth.

"Mike I was just checking out his book, it's my job. I don't even know him. Let me go. You're hurting me", I pleaded as he growled at me. His hot breath wafted around my face, filling my nose with the stale smell of alcohol. "I don't believe you. I knew you wanted a guy from the football team", letting go of my arm, he spun me around, pushing me until my back was against the cold brick wall. "If you cheat on me, so help me Bella!" The impact of his fist knocked all of the air out of my lungs; gasping for breath I implored him to see the truth. "Mike, I wouldn't... cheat on you... I would never!" Tears started filling up my eyes, but I bit back the lump in my throat. It would only make things worse. His eyes were as hard and dark as black marble; filled with pure anger. "Tell me that you love me! Tell me Bella!"

"Mike I love you, you know I do. I love you!" I stared into his ice blue eyes, hoping that mine wouldn't betray my lies. His mouth that was set in a hard line now was a smile, a large and evil smile. His hands moved to my hair, stroking it, a little too roughly. "I love you too Bella, that's why I did this. Not to hurt you or scare you, I was just making sure that you remember who cares for you the most. Your mom and stepdad sent you away from them all the way to Forks; even your dad works overtime to avoid you. I'm all you have, but I'll always be here". He took me into his arms, hugging me and rubbing his hand up and down my back slowly. Moving up to my head, he put his hands into my hair and kissed me. I kissed him back, trying to control the churning in my stomach. Suddenly he pulled my head close to him, so close that my face was stuck to his collar bone, crushing my nose.

"But I'm warning you Bella, don't talk to him again. It would make me very upset", I tried to nod but he held me so tightly it was impossible. When he released me I said, "I know Mike, I wont." Nodding to support my answer, maybe a little too much.

"I know you won't Bella. Now go back to the library, like nothing happened. If they ask where you were, tell them you went to the bathroom. Don't talk to anyone on the way." Nodding I started to walk away, mumbling a goodbye. He caught me by the arm and said, "I'll be watching." With that, he strode off to the parking lot, I watched him for a minute, cursing at him in my mind, hoping that my gaze would make him burst into flames, but unluckily, I didn't have super powers. I wonder if my mom did send me away. She said it was because my stepdad was going to be travelling and that she wanted to travel with him. I just agreed to come here to make her happy. And Charlie wasn't avoiding me, he was working overtime for more money, I think....

* * *

I trudged back to the library, the only place I could be happy. I could engross myself in books for hours on end. Looking through the glass in the doors, I saw a huge queue waiting to sign in and out their books. I kept my eyes on the floor and took my seat again, "Sorry for the wait guys, who's first?" Looking up, my stomach sank. Not him, please, no.

The big football player stood towering over me, casting a shadow over me. "I left my stupid card in here, did you find it?" his voice boomed down on top of me.

"...um...I...I...um...no...I'll have... a look" I stammered over my words realizing that if Mike was outside in the parking lot, he could see me through the wall to ceiling windows. I would get such a hard beating for this. I got up quickly and walked around the laptop stations looking for the card, knowing that it wouldn't be there. Secretly I was really looking for Mike's car. Thank god it was gone. I headed back up to my desk and checked around there. Lifting up a pile of books, I found it lying there. It read, "Emmett Cullen".

"Emmett", I said hesitantly. He was eyeing up a tall, leggy blonde, I realised that I had saw them around the school. "Thanks", he took the card and went over to the girl and hugged her. Thank god, maybe if Mike saw that he had a girlfriend he wouldn't accuse me anymore. Fat chance.

I watched them walk out the door, hand in hand, laughing, beaming at each other. Why can't my relationship be like that? If only Mike was able to feel emotions other than rage and jealousy.

I realised that I probably looked like an idiot staring at a door, so I turned back to the line of people that had gathered about four new members since I last looked at it. Sighing, for the millionth time today, putting on the smile that I was so used to faking now, I carried on with my job, leaving my wishing for another time.

After work was done, I tidied up my desk, looked around the library for forgotten items and said goodbye to our chief librarian. Happy to be going home to the comfort of a hot shower and my books, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

Pulling it out I read the message:

_Hey Bells_

_Sorry for earlier._

_Love you_

_-Mike xo_

.

.

.

A/N- okay, I don't know. Someone give me some pointers. Tell me if you like it, tell me if you don't and ill stop.

Reviews are better than cookies!

Thanks...XX


	2. Dear Diary its me again!

Chapter 2- Dear Diary...

**BPOV**

The drive home was long and silent. The radio in my truck wasn't working. It never has since I got it. Being stuck with my thoughts isn't something I wanted, well, until I had my diary. Then I could pour my soul over the pages and hide it away from the world.

Stepping out of the car into the rain, I locked up the rusty old Chevy and ran for the porch, but being the most uncoordinated girl I know, I fell and scratched my knee off the step along with hurting my freshly punched ribs. Grring at gravity, I hauled myself up and went inside.

The house was dark. Charlie was still at work as usual. Walking through the hallway towards the kitchen, I dumped my bag in the corner and tried not to trip over anything. I flipped the switch and the kitchen illuminated. I quickly prepared a simple pasta dish for Charlie and put it into the microwave. I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and sat at the table.

I decided to grab my bag and do some homework. An English essay that I had already started in the library took me about 20 mins to finish. A biology question took me only 10 mins to do. I had borrowed a book from the library on it. And so I had more time on my hands.

I looked out through the glass doors and watched the rain pelting against it, listening to the rapid pitter patter of Forks rain as it came into contact with a hard surface. I missed the phoenix sun, I missed my mom and Phil. But I didn't want to think about it and get into that sort of depressed mood, so I went upstairs to my room.

The familiar purple of my room was a comfort. I jumped onto my bed and buried my head into the pillow. Preparing myself for my nightly ritual of writing and tears, I put my pillows up against the headboard of my bed and climbed under my soft fluffy quilt. I reached across to my bedside table, retrieving my diary. The plain, black leather cover and gold edged pages held my life between them. The gold ribbon bookmark guided me to my next blank canvas on which to paint my day with words.

_Dear Diary,_

_Yes it's me again and yes, today was like every other that I've told you about. Don't worry; I'm not going to disgrace your pages with his name. But then again, do I ever? I got up this morning and had two messages from him. _

_**Bella, I need money. Tomorrow.**_

_**Don't be late for school if you know what's good for you. **_

_How nice! I can't even sleep without him demanding and ordering me around. But what can I do? What can I do diary? If what he says is true, he is all I have. Dads rarely home and even when he is, he doesn't say much to me. Even though I make his dinner and take care of the bills. And mom sent me here so that they were alone to travel. _

_Classes were boring today. Nothing exciting happened. Got more homework. Oh yeah, gym class. We were playing volleyball, and I fell over my own feet when nobody was near me. It gained a lot of unnecessary cheers from people. But of course, one of the guys, I didn't see who, shouted to him, "Awww come pick your girlfriend up like a good little boyfriend", and everybody laughed at him. _

_He marched over to me, with eyes shooting daggers at me. He grabbed my arm hard and lifted me up into a hug. "Don't fucking embarrass me again or I'll kick your teeth in", he growled at me under his breath and turned around smiling at everyone. So I just stood back and stayed still._

_At lunch he demanded that I skip work at the library and go with him for a little "fun". I don't think so! I avoid any bit of "fun" with him that I can. Any fun he gets from me is when he has beaten me so hard I can't refuse or put up a fight. But then I just zone out, take myself away to another place. And secretly hope to stay there. _

_This time I reminded him that if he wanted money, I had to work, and his mind quickly changed. No doubt it was to fund his new drug crazed weekends. I'm sure that Lauren will be more than willing to join him. Like every Friday in the store room._

_Then when I was checking out a book for a guy that reminded me of a bear, he walked in and decided that I was cheating on him and took me out to the back buildings again. He roughed me up a little. Not as bad as usual._

_Overall he wasn't too bad today. He must have had Lauren round at his house the night before. _

_Okay diary, I must leave you now. Enjoy mulling over my complaints and troubles and keep my secrets safe._

_B _

_xXx_

I moved the bookmark to the place I would write next. Then, I flicked through pages, skimming over my past entries, words jumping out at me everywhere. Cigarette burns, punch, kick, bleeding, bruises, tears, car key scratches, cracked ribs.

Suddenly I realised that my cheeks were wet and some of the pages of my diary had small wet marks on them. I closed up my diary, and put it under my pillow. I roughly wiped my face and went into the bathroom.

I turned on the shower. The steam billowed over the top of the glass door. I undressed and stepped in. It took a few minutes for my skin to adjust to the hot water. I scrubbed my skin, maybe a little too hard. I tried to wash his touch off my skin and let it flow down the drain. But I never felt clean. I used my favourite strawberry shampoo and conditioner, the smell relaxed me.

I got out and got dried off and put on my old sweat pants and hole covered t-shirt. I took some painkillers for my ribs and went back into my room. Glancing at the clock, I realised that it was now 8.30. Since I had nothing to do now, I climbed into bed and continued reading my copy of Wuthering Heights. Its old pages yellowed and delicate. It has been handed down through the women of my family for years. I got it from my mom when I turned 16; she posted it to me as I was living with Charlie.

I delved deep into my book. Relaxing and falling deep into the story. Eventually it turned 11.00. I heard Charlie come through the front door. I decided that I was tired enough to sleep. I put my book on my bedside table and turned off the lamp. Lying there on my pillow, I slowly succumbed to the call of deep slumber.

A/N- okay....so whatcha think? Cookies and muffins for all reviewers. (Of course they're virtual though).

So the next chapter will be in a different POV? Any guesses to who it is?? Lol

That is if you want another chapter, so until that I hear some people want another chapter, I wont be posting one as it would be a waste of my time. ...okay okay I might....Mairead would kill me if I didn't.

But please review!!

xx


	3. School Sucks

**A/N- Thanks to...... **

**lilmissbiteme, CrimsonArrowsOfFire, TeddyBearsRainyDays, SpiderMonkey92, Bull96, Bearhugsaremything for reviewing!!**

**Cookies and muffins heading your way!!!**

**X x**

Chapter 3- School Sucks.

EPOV

"EDWARD!!!" I must have lifted 4ft off the bed. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. Composing myself, I turned over to see the devilish smile of my sister peering down at me! "Oh, you're awake", she sang as she skipped over to the curtains and opened them. The light swam into my room, blinding me as I dived under my quilt. Groaning, I peeped out over my blankets and saw Alice, tutting and smiling like an evil pixie. "Get up for school!" EVIL!! "Get out Alice", I demanded feigning anger. Her giggles ran through the air and down the hall as she went to wake up the rest of the house.

I dragged myself out of bed and put on my clothes, a black t-shirt, jeans and converse. Grabbing my leather jacket I ran down the stairs and found Alice munching loudly on an apple, Rosalie drinking coffee, Jasper eating toast and Emmett inhaling a fry. I decided that I didn't want breakfast, so I decided to go on to school. But first I stopped in the hallway to fix my hair. I brushed it, gelled it, and combed it and still it looked messy. Grumbling words like ridiculous and disobedient, I ran my hand through it several times and left the house defeated by the untameable mess at the top of my head.

I parked my precious Volvo in my usual place and sat listening to music. Clair de Lune filled the air inside the car as I relaxed waiting for more people to arrive. I looked out across the parking lot, and saw some of the cheerleaders in for morning practice. Yeah they looked good in those uniforms. But then again, I've had most of them, I laughed internally.

Well I must have dozed off, as I was woken up by Emmett and Jasper rocking my car back and forth. Laughing, I turned the car off, locked it up saying, "Come on guys, don't hurt my baby!" hugging it across the hood. An eruption of laughter came from Emmett and he said something that sounded like, "I want an invite to the wedding!" but it was broken up by his loud guffaws. The bell rang and we headed towards the main building.

* * *

Morning classes went by uneventfully. We got another English essay for homework! Great!! And a biology question too, but I got it done in class. Now it was lunch, and the girls were swarming around me as usual.

I was walking to the cafeteria with Tyler and Emmett, discussing the topic we were studying in biology- human reproduction. "And so you have to talk about...you know...the monthly thing?" Emmett enquired, horrified! "Yes Emmett and we watched a bloody gory animation on how it happens and how it..." "Wow! Bro stop, too much info...ewww!" He said shaking his head and shivering at the thought of what I was going to say.

Entering the cafeteria, we walked up and got some food. I flirted with some of the girls that drooled over me every day. Sitting at our usual table we waited for the girls to meet us. And on queue, Alice and Rosalie came in, carrying two bowls of what looked like rabbit food. I swear, girls eat the strangest food. I bet in the next million years, women develop buck teeth and long furry ears.

Conversation was flowing and we were finished our food quickly, so we decided to get our stuff we would need for class and went to sit at the benches. Taking out my biology textbook, I showed Emmett some of the pages I knew he would think were hilarious!! As I predicted, he giggled and laughed like a little school girl, while Rosalie and Alice shook their heads muttering something about boys and immaturity. They did the same thing when someone spoke about how I was a player and how I treated women.

I left them for a few minutes to use the bathroom. On the way I met Jessica, "Hey Eddie! How are you?" Oh great! As if I wanted to talk to that skank! Didn't she realize that she was a booty call! Her nasally voice kept going on and on and on. "So Eddie, when are you coming back to see me? We can have some more fun!" eugh! "Never Jessica. I told you before, I don't want you!"

Her face contorted into the form of a pig that was sucking on a lemon and she squealed, "What do you mean you don't want me? Everyone wants me! I'm Jessica frickin Stanley for Christ's sake!" What a stuck up bitch! "Jessica, you are riddled with more diseases that a sewer rat and have slept with every guy in this school! What makes you think I want trash like you?" She opened up her mouth to say something, but instead she closed it and growled and stalked away furiously.

I got back to the guys in time to get my stuff just as the bell rang signalling for me to head off to free period. Since I usually just go to the gym during free period I decided for a change that I would go to the computer lab and do some homework.

Mr Banner, my biology teacher, was also in the computer lab. No doubt that he was coming up with some other sort of torturous assignment for us to do. Taking out my biology book, I opened it up to the pages we were discussing today and left it on the desk as I bent down to retrieve my iPod from my backpack, but I realised I had already did my biology homework in class.

The sound of someone clearing his throat brought my attention to a face above me. Mr Banner was standing beside me with my textbook in his hand and a disapproving look on his face. "Can you explain this to me Mr Cullen?"

He turned the book around to me and my eyes nearly fell out of my head. On the diagrams of the reproductive systems, were brand new labels.

**On the female-**

_The stairway to heaven._

_The monthly bit._

**On the male- **

_Mines bigger! (Signed E.C.)._

_The poker._

_Meat and two veg._

And many more that I dare not mention.

"I...uh...Mr Banner...I didn't..." I stumbled over my words, not knowing what to say, and also trying not to laugh. This was Emmett's work. "So Mr Cullen, you think that defacing school property is a joke? I don't find this funny Mr Cullen. And your attitude is not acceptable. I'm stopping your behaviour now before it gets to be out of control"

"What do you mean?" I guess I'm getting detention. Another wont do any harm. But his next words, I didn't expect.

"Mr Cullen, since you frequent detention so often and you it doesn't seem to be doing much for your attitude, and since I'm vice principal, I'm assigning you to janitorial duty during your free period and after school for a week."

"WHAT? You can't be serious! I didn't do it!" I tried to protest but he was having none of it. "And why is it signed E.C.?" Damn it! I wasn't going to drop my brother into it so I decided to take one for the team. "Fine" I exclaimed.

"Since its Friday, you start onMonday! Don't mess it up, because you'll only have to clean it again!" he walked off; looking smug as he made one of is unfunny teacher jokes.

Great! This is all I need. Good job I have popularity to spare. I can't believe this, Emmett is soooo dead. I got up and left the room with steam coming out of my ears.

SCHOOL SUCKS!!

**A/N- Sooo I don't like this chapter....what do you all think? **

**Your feedback last time made me scream and giggle so loud it woke up my boyfriend and he nearly had a heart attack! Lol **

**Review Please...xxxx**

**Cookies and muffins if you do. **


	4. Silver Memories

**A/N- okay....sorry it's taken so long to update!! I've been having it a little rough lately, my external hard drive died and not only are my plans and ideas for FF gone, so is all my music, movies, and pictures AND all of my college work!! And to top it all off, a friend of mine passed away! So my apologies to all my readers and thanks for bearing with me! I had already started this chapter but now I have to rewrite it all!! Grr at technology!**

Chapter 4 – Silver Memories.

**BPOV**

A crack in my curtains allowed the light to awaken me from a peaceful nights sleep. I kept my eyes closed in the hopeful thought that I might fall asleep again, but to no avail. The strength of the sun won the battle.

Slowly, I started to open my eyes, but the bright sun made it difficult to open them more than a crack. I caught a glimpse of my clock, 7:30. Great! I hate being up early. I'm not a morning person in the slightest.

Of all times for forks to be sunny, it has to be now, when I want to sleep!! Grumbling about having to get up and face another day in the random sunshine that was making my pale skin look translucent and paper white, I thrashed around on the bed and kicked the quilt onto the floor. I got off the bed, stumbling ungracefully into a standing position.

I walked over to my dressing table and looked at my self in my ridiculously large antique mirror; I guess it was handed down in the family. I pulled up my shirt revealing a large mottled purple and pink bruise on my ribs.

I lightly placed my fingers at the top of it and ran them down my swollen ribs grimacing at every bump. Two and a half weeks to heal I estimated. I'm getting good at estimating healing times of cuts, burns and bruises and how much painkiller it will take to bear them.

But I'm not getting any better at dealing with mike. I guess it's not going to get any better so I should just get over it already. It could be worse. Couldn't it?

I ordered myself to stop dwelling on things that weren't important at this very moment because today was Saturday. And that means no mike.

Mike goes to Port Angeles every weekend. Every Friday night he goes up there with a few of the other hormone infested teenage guys of Forks. It's the best day of the week. My day of the week. The only one that he couldn't destroy as his alcohol dependant body wouldn't allow it. Waiting for Saturdays to come always seemed to be the longest wait in the world. But I would wait forever for time away from Mike. No punches, no kicking, no shouting, no swearing, no bullying in sight for 24hrs.

I've come to find that I rarely need to write in my diary on a Saturday night, because although nothing major happens, nothing that involves mike happens either. I never go out, either with Mike or without. And it's not just that he wouldn't let me, it also that I have nobody to go out with.

Snapping back to reality, I shook my head and commenced putting on some skinny jeans and a plain purple t-shirt and some ballet flats. Wiping the sleep from my eyes for the fifth time I picked up my quilt and tidied up my bed trying to make it look presentable. But being Bella swan, I stubbed my toe on the leg of the bed fell in a heap down beside it. Childishly, I groaned, thumping my right fist on the floor whilst cradling my toe in my left.

After a few moments the pain had faded away. Still lying there, I lifted my head and caught a glimpse of something silver under my bed. Confused, I reached in under the bed but my arm wasn't long enough. So instead, I slowly wriggled my way in under it, dust going up my nose every time I moved. When I finally reached it, I slid out from underneath the bed, coughing up dust bunnies from my lungs. Composing myself, I sat up on the bed and turned over what I had found to be a photo frame. It must have been under there for at least a few years. Taking off a thick layer of dust from it with my fingers, my heart started to race and sink all at once.

There encased inside a rectangle of silver, were two small, smiling faces. A girl with long brown hair and deep brown eyes and a boy with tanned skin and long hair surrounding his face. Both a picture and a face that I had not seen for many years.

Jake.

Immediately, I felt the warm stinging at the back of my eyes. The memories may have been old but still were as clear as if it was yesterday.

I thought about the good times and the bad times and eventually the time when my world stopped turning.

But as quickly as my head filled with so many thoughts and memories it went blank and I lost control of my body. I didn't feel myself moving and getting into my truck. I didn't feel myself steer my way through the winding roads to the La Push reservation and down to the beach. I didn't feel myself walking down the sand to the shore.

But I did feel the burning in my throat. And I did hear the frustrated cry that I let out for the loss of the only true friend I ever had.

When I had control of myself again, I fell to the ground and sobbed uncontrollably, knowing that I wouldn't ever see him again. And that he was probably happy and in a better place than me. But it still didn't stop me from missing him.

**I know it's not very long, but the next one will be up soon too. I've already started it. **

**It's more about Bella and Jake and their story. It's probably going to be stupid to you guys but to me it's perfectly reasonable.**

**Soooo now you must do your bit....**

**....Review please....xxx**


	5. Tears on the shore

**A/N- okay, I hope you enjoy it. I'd love hearing your thoughts! **

**Onwards!!**

**Chapter 5 – Tears on the Shore. **

**BPOV**

I started to think back to my childhood. The only part of my existence I would call a life.

Jacob Black had been my best friend when I was young. He lived on the La Push reservation, a member of the Quileute tribe. He was a couple of years younger than me, but he still maintained that because I was a "Pale face", he was smarter than me. He stood up for me, even against boys who were older than him, and never let anyone bully me.

I remembered all the times we made mud pies together, and then threw them at each other. Playing on our tyre swing at our tree. Going higher and higher until it felt like we had floated up into the air and would never come back down. And even when I fell off and cried he would tell me how high I went and how great and brave I was.

I remember when he tried to convince me that he was a wolf and even dressed like one to prove it. And every Halloween, he would tell me the same old ghost story about vampires. Even when my mom and dad would argue and fight, he would hold my hand and tell me it would be okay.

Then when I was eight, my mom decided to move to Phoenix, but my Dad wasn't going. I didn't really understand, but Jake said it would be okay and we would see each other soon.

So we left Forks and I started a new school, had to make new friends, but none of them were like Jacob. I missed him so much. I used to cling onto this photo and wish so hard that I could go back to Forks and see him. We spoke on the phone every now and then, but that wasn't enough. I wanted my Jake back. He even called me after my dad and his dad Billy had stopped being friends.

An argument they would regret.

One day my dad called us and told my mom the dreadful news. Billy was in a car accident and didn't make it out. I called Jake and told him that he was going to have to be brave and that it was going to be okay. My mom and I travelled back to Forks for the funeral and as soon as I saw Jake, I ran up and hugged him. He was very sad, but he said he was happy that I was there. We stayed for the weekend and Jake and I spent it on the reservation, playing in the woods and on the beach. But eventually I had to go home.

Then a storm had hit Forks and knocked off all the phone lines. So I couldn't even call Jake.

But as soon as the phone lines were up again, we got the call.

Dad called again and my mom looked very worried when she was on the phone to him. After their conversation, she took me to the living room, sat me on the couch and told me that Jake had been taken away by social services.

I didn't know what it meant, but she told me that he would be getting a new family. I was happy that he would be getting a new mom and dad, but then she told me that I couldn't see him or call him anymore. I protested and cried but she told me that since he had no family left, he had nowhere to go.

In denial, I ran and hid in my room, hugging the photo close to my chest and fell asleep on my bed.

Eventually the news set in and I was very depressed for a long time. No calls, no visits. I hadn't heard or seen Jake for a few months. And the months turned to years.

Eventually I had moved on and come to terms with the fact that I had lost my best friend and wasn't going to get him back.

I didn't have a best friend anymore. And little did I know, I never would again. I was too afraid to get to know anyone. They would leave too. I was better off on my own. But then I opened myself up to someone, a nice guy in from my biology class. But he soon became a monster. But he was the closest I had to a friend. But at the same time, he was the complete opposite.

I was brought out of my own head by a low growling sound. I shivered slightly, but not because of the cold, but out of recognition of that growl and the breath on my neck.

"What the fuck are you doing here Bella?" Mike growled into my ear. I turned to face him, he was crouched down behind me, but beyond him were Tyler's van, and a few other guys, all looking over laughing and drinking out of bottles wrapped in brown paper bags.

But then it dawned on me, what time is it? The sky had gone from the barely clouded blue it was this morning to a bruise coloured canvas of late evening.

"Don't fucking move" he snarled into my ear. He walked over to the van and was talking to his friends. Meanwhile, I was burying the picture in the dryer sand behind me. If he saw it I would be in for it, even more than I already was.

He touched fists with Tyler and turned, practically dragging his knuckles along beside him. There were a few whistles and cheers and then the roar of Tyler's van pulling away. I glanced down beside me, making sure that the picture was covered without being obvious. It was, I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't have been the one who buried it. I turned and smiled at him, trying to lighten him up a little.

"Hey Mike, how are..." My eyes lost focus, flashes of white and black exploded in front of me and my face crashed down into the wet sand. It took me a few seconds to recover my sight and feel the immense pain at my temple. My hearing kicked in mid sentence.

"...you fucking been?" he stared down at me with menace and rage riddling his expression. "Wha...What?" I stammered in the pain of my newly forming lump that was about the size of a golf ball. And for my verbal failings I received a kick on my already bruised ribs and I felt a pop when he connected his foot with me. I screamed out breathlessly and choked on the sand I had inhaled whilst gasping. "Answer me Bella!" he exclaimed as he ripped me up into a standing position. "I've been here Mike, just here on the beach. I haven't done anything wrong." He turned around and away from me, looking like he was trying to compose himself. "I've been calling you for hours, why didn't you answer?" Damn it, I should have known better that to forget my phone. "I forgot my phone, I didn't even realise it."

"Thanks to you, I couldn't go to Port Angeles tonight" he said matter-of-factly with a hint of anger. "Why was that my fault Mike?" I didn't understand. "I needed money and a ride and you weren't there. So what better things did you have to do here?" "Mike I was just walking around and enjoying the sun."

"Well Bella, you could have done that with me and that way I would have got to Port Angeles and you would have had a nice day with me." Yeah right, that wasn't likely. "So what are you doing tonight?" "Well I'm going to Quil Ateara's, there's a huge party going on. And no Bella you're not coming." He said straight to the point. But if you read between the lines, Jessica was going to be there and I would only disrupt his plans to sleep with her for the millionth time.

And as if the filter between my thoughts and my mouth had vanished, I said, "As if I'd go anyway, I have better things to do". Instantly, I realised what I had did, and regretted it more that you could imagine.

Mike grabbed my arm and threw me to the ground and repeatedly kicked me until it was no longer pain after pain but one sharp ache all over my body. "Do you really think that you are good enough to hang with us Bella? Do you think that you're too good for me?"

"Mike no...Please...stop it...Mike" I sobbed as he bombarded me with blows. "You're lucky that anyone wants you. You don't have anyone but me", he screamed at me as he dragged me across the sand. "Why should I put up with a sad pathetic loner like you? Nobody wants you, your parents have got sick of you, and now I'm left to lug you around with me, you're not worth the bother! So now your mine to do what I please."

My sobs had begun to erupt from inside me like thunder, which only drove his sick mind to continue with his ruthless pounding. Suddenly I felt his foot on my neck, pushing my face into the sand. I couldn't breath. I thrashed around on the ground until eventually he sat on me, ripped up my shirt and then I felt it.

The white searing pain across my back. But what was worse, I could feel every letter of his name being carved into my flesh.

"Your mine, nobody else's. Nobody is going to want you now."

With one last kick, I heard him laugh his way up the beach towards the Quileute village. I didn't dare move, so I lay there. Face down in the sand. After a few minutes I turned over and realized that the sun was setting. Lying on my freshly carved back, I could feel warm blood trickling down my spine. I looked up to the heavens, asking myself why. Why me?

The longer I stared, the more I noticed the tiny little silver specs scattered all over the sky. They shone and sparkled like the silver glitter I used when I was a kid.

That's when it dawned on me.

Silver.

Shone and Sparkled.

The picture frame.

Jake.

I scrambled onto my feet, half falling over with every step that caused a ringing of pain somewhere on my person. I scraped through the sand and frantically searched for the only piece of Jake I had left. My fingernails were caked with sand. I started to panic at the thought of never finding it. the tide was coming in. I dug deeper and cried hard. Then, I felt something cold and hard with my finger tips. I rapidly removed the sand and revealed my buried treasure. Clutching it to my chest, I fell back, crying. The tearing and slicing feeling in my chest was my longing for Jake surfacing. Eventually the tide had come in, I was soaked, and my heart was in tatters. I'd never have anyone. This was my life. This was my hell. I trudged back to my truck. Climbing in and wrapping an old scarf around my waist to prevent my back bleeding onto my seats, I headed for home. But more specifically, I headed towards the only best friend I had now.

My Diary.

**A/N- so I hope that you guys enjoyed this. Reviews are welcome. Pleaaase!!**

**Tell me what you think!!**

**Virtual cookies and muffins for you all!**

**xx**


	6. Every cloud has a silver lining

**A/N- Thank you for all the lovely reviews! I got my new glasses so I can actually see now! Whoop! **

**Ok I haven't updated in ages! I know I'm terrible! But I've been getting all my college work done and the assignments never seem to end! And looking for work which is becoming extremely annoying. And my internet connection is acting like its being powered by an overweight lethargic hamster with arthritis running in a wheel! Grrr!**

**Xxx**

**Chapter 6- Every cloud has a silver lining.**

**BPOV**

I held myself together as well as I could so that I could drive, without being a danger to myself and everyone else. My back stung like a thousand bee's had attacked me. My throat was dry and hurt from the sobs that wracked through me. My eyes burned from the endless stream of tears that rolled from my eyes and congregated at my jaw, and plummeted into the darkness of the truck.

I pulled up outside my house and noticed that the lights were on. Charlie was home. I grabbed the only piece of Jake I had left, and got out of the truck. When I got inside the house, I hoped that he wouldn't complain that I didn't have dinner prepared, but he was asleep on the couch. I hope he got some food. But if he cooked it, I doubt it tasted great.

Upstairs, I entered our shared bathroom. I turned on the lights and locked the door. I double checked the lock just to be safe.

Slowly, I pried off my shirt to look at mikes handy work. Twisting around to see the wound stung so bad my eyes filled up with tears. I hesitantly drew my eyes off the floor, up the wall and to the mirror, and when I saw it, an unintentional whimper escaped my mouth. My knees felt weak and I couldn't breathe. I knew what it was but didn't want to believe it, but now its impossible to deny.

There, on my pale back, were the large, red, blood encrusted cuts that summed up my life in four letters. I was branded. Now, I belonged to him. My hands trembled as I stretched and twisted to put antibacterial ointment onto my wounds. The stinging reminded me that I was still alive, still here, still tormented. I don't want this anymore.

I walked into my room and sat on the bed. I drew in small shallow breaths and tried to collect my scrambled thoughts, but my brain was exhausted.

I lifted up my diary, grabbed a pen, sat at my desk and put pen to paper.

_Dear Diary,_

_Help me. I don't want this anymore. I can't feel the floor underneath me. The air around me no longer fills my lungs. No matter what I do, no matter where I go, no matter how far away from him I get, I still feel like he has his hands around my neck._

_I'm falling farther and farther into the pit of torment._

_And although I claw and claw at the walls around me, my desperation erupting in silent screams, I only fall farther._

_How long until I hit the solid bottom and darkness encases me?_

_B_

_xXx_

I let out a sigh and closed my diary. All of the energy I may have had, left my body on that beach. My limbs felt like they were made of solid lead. I dropped my diary on top of a pile of books on the desk, not even bothering to hide it. It's not like anyone will see it.

I stripped off my bloodied top and threw it to the ground, or under the bed, I didn't really care, and quickly changed into something suitable for sleeping in.

I fell into a dreamless sleep, waking up late on Sunday.

Half blinded by sleep, I trudged into the bathroom and got into the shower. The stream of warm water did little to ease my stress and tension. I didn't really see anything, or hear anything. My body was functioning on auto-pilot. I didn't really realise how long I was in the shower until the cold water hit me, causing me to scream and fumble around trying to turn off the stream of freeing water.

"Bella!" I heard a gruff voice shouting and a thumping at the bathroom door, "Bella, what happened? Are you okay?" Was that Charlie?

"Yeah Char...Dad. I'm fine. It was just cold water. I'm fine". I quickly dried myself off and put on my dressing gown. When I opened the door, I saw Charlie, his face pale white.

"You okay?" I asked him, wondering what had him so flustered. Maybe the old man was losing it.

"Are _you_ okay? What was all that screaming about? You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you were hurt." he said.

"I'm sure you could survive without me," I said under my breath, walking past him into my room and slamming the door and pressing my forehead against its cold hard surface. Dad walked down stairs mumbling something that I couldn't make out.

After getting dressed I roughly towel dried my hair and brushed it out, tying it up in a sloppy bun. When I made it to the kitchen I grabbed an apple and stood staring out the window.

I was suddenly conscious of eyes watching me. I looked around and saw dad looking at me intently, a frown evident on his face. How had I disappointed him now?

I sighed and turned around to face him fully with. "Yes Dad?"

"You've gotten so skinny. And you don't seem to be in the room for more than ten minutes until you go off into your own world. Bella are you okay?", he said in a voice that I knew was his cop voice, but I detected concern beneath it. I could see it in is eyes.

"Yeah Dad, I'm fine. Just a little under the weather.", I lied...poorly.

"Bella you can talk to me you know", he almost whispered.

"Says the man who avoids me like the plague. So why the sudden interest?", I said in a harsh voice.

"Bells, I don't think that's fai..." he attempted to speak but I cut him off with a vocal explosion. "Your never here, you either working or out at La Push with Harry. Your never home!", I shouted at him, my voice cracking. I refused cry, so I set my jaw and straightened up my back.

He looked like I had just slapped him in the face, but I couldn't feel guilty.

"You don't speak to me. You don't acknowledge my presence. You never ask me how my day was or how my relationship with Mike is going" But it's not like I would tell him _that_ anyway.

"Isabella, I don't know what made you think I'm avoiding you but I can assure you that you are wrong. Bells I leave you alone because you seem to like your space and you are always with Mike and I don't want to disturb you. And when you come home from school, I'm usually not home from work and you're busy when I do get in. But if I am in, you go straight to your room. I am not avoiding you, and the fact that you thought that... well it hurts Bella." His eyes seemed to get red and water a little. My dad. Police Chief Charlie Swan was emotional. My dad never shows his emotions. At least not in front of people.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't known where to look.

"Dad, I...I'm sorry." I couldn't stop the warm tears that had built up in my own eyes, from rolling down my cheeks.

He looked up at me and got up out of his seat, I couldn't even look him in the eye. He probably wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

But then he did something that shocked me. Slowly, his arms came around me, and he pulled me into a hug. It was uncomfortable, shocking, awkward...and the nicest contact I've had for a long time. The familiar smell of my father and his warmth was the nicest thing ever. And I cried, standing there in my father's arms, in the middle of the kitchen. I finally had someone.

I don't know how long I was standing there, but I was brought back by the sound of my dad clearing his throat, and taking a step back. He looked away, but I knew it was because he wasn't used to open emotion.

"So... Bella don't think like that again. I'm always here for you. No matter what. I love you.", he said in his cop voice, trying to regain his manly composure. "And don't you forget it."

And then another strange thing happened, I laughed. Freely and willingly. " I love you too dad" He kissed the top of my head and went to watch the game.

Although it was rainy and overcast in Forks today, the sun seemed to be shining on me.

**Review pleasey weasey... Feel free to ask me questions or leave your thoughts on what you think should happen.**

**I have the storyline in my head, but I'm open to some amazing suggestions! **

**Teehee! **

**Chapter 7 is almost done, just needs to be proof read for all my horrid spelling mistakes! And chapter 8 is in process.**

**xxx**


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